Welcome to the recap for the second episode of The Bachelorette, where we’re taking a moment to assess: What can I learn from this mess to help my own dating life? This week, we got past the first impressions and into the basic structure of The Bachelor(ette). Following the premiere, there were a handful of second date set-ups with Hannah B.: a group date, a one-on-one date, and another group date. All are applicable to the Modern Man’s dating life, in their own ways. Of course, most dates feel like a one-on-one, but if you’re in a public setting, who knows what guy could swoop in and steal your date’s attention? If this episode is any indication, it will be a man named Cam with a really pointed catchphrase!
Second dates are arguably more important than the first. Your guard starts coming down and you have to ask, “Do I actually like this person?” Hopefully, you don’t find yourself roller-skating or sporting a speedo like certain contestants (unless that’s your vibe, in which case, do you), but there’s always something to learn from someone else’s public humiliation. These are the 20 best dating tips from the second episode of The Bachelorette.
1. Remember that this is only a second date. You’re still making a first impression, even if you’ve already met.
2. If she has an interest in something outside your comfort zone—say, drag queens—give it a shot. As the old adage goes, “You can’t know another man’s journey until you’ve walked a mile in his size 13 stilettos.”
3. In this sex-positive age, you never know where a second date could lead. Perhaps she has you enter a pageant where you have to wear a speedo. Don’t fret about showing your body, but always prep by doing a few thoughtful push-ups!
4. Don’t ever tell a woman you’re falling in love with her on the second date, like Luke P. did. Or the third date.
5. Avoid big conversation topics on early dates. Politics, religion, and proclamations of love can get you into a sticky situation. If you insist on having these conversations, at least avoid the last one.
6. Life is not a dick measuring contest, nor is a date. If you happen to encounter another male presence (whether he’s just a guy in a bar or a fellow Bachelorette contestant on a group date), don’t challenge him like Mike did with Luke P. Toxic masculinity is just that: toxic.
7. Find a way to be bold, but cool. After Luke P. admitted his love, he didn’t win the group date rose, but Jed did after performing a fine-enough song he wrote for Hannah. See, kind of bold!
8. If it wasn’t communicated well enough in our First Date Tips, you shouldn’t rap on the second date, either. Cam can’t seem to clock that.
9. If your date brings up their ex, this is a bad sign. Change the topic quickly, but politely. Tyler G. let Hannah talk way too much about Colton on their one-on-one date.
10. On a date, be honest and open, but be sure that you don’t go too deep. As sweet, sweet Tyler confessed his deepest hopes and existential fears, he didn’t leave much time for Hannah to tell her own story.
11. If your date plans an activity, give it a shot. Shy of being deathly allergic to something or endangering your well-being, openness is important. When Connor J. said he was vehemently opposed to roller skating, that was a red flag!
12. No one finds self-proclaimed nicknames or catchphrases attractive. Remember in the early dates, you’re supposed to be presenting your best self. As Cam said “ABC: Always Be Cam” for the ninety-fourth time this episode, it was a reminder that he’s trying to convince you this is a good thing to say.
13. [heavy sigh] So, if you weren’t invited on a date, don’t go on the date. Again: This was a Cam move. In this case, I say “ABC: Always Be Cautious.”
14. Much like in business, time is valuable. Consider that every moment you spend preoccupied with, say, your phone or the man who recently crashed your date, is a moment you’re not paying attention to the person in front of you!
15. If you get really overwhelmed during a date, don’t be afraid to give a sweeping speech about falling in love. Don’t necessarily declare your love for your date, but be honest. Honesty is key.
16. Don’t ever call your date “ma’am.” There’s only one situation where that’s ever okay, and it requires both of you to be into a specific kink. Otherwise, nah, bro. Kevin thought that Cam ruined his date, but honestly, calling a 20-something woman “ma’am” wasn’t doing anyone any favors.
17. If given the opportunity, give your date chicken nuggets and honey mustard. This may seem episode-centric, but honestly, it’s a hard and fast rule. Always lead with nuggs.
18. Tyler C. is a perfect example of what strong eye contact can do. Sometimes you have little to say, but small cues can indicate to your date that you’re in the moment.
19. Unless you’re built like a full Greek god (Luke P.) don’t give your date a massage on the second date. Then again, Luke P. also led with implications of love, so maybe the real tip is that if you have a six-pack crafted by a blacksmith, the rules are different for you.
20. Don’t be afraid to cut your losses. If after two dates you guys aren’t hitting it off, cut your date loose! Life is full of opportunities, and when you’re trying to force one opportunity to work, there’s a good chance you might be missing another.
Follow all these rules, and you’re bound to have a wonderful second date—unless something else goes off the rails. No dating situation is ever going to be perfect, but if you stay out of L-word territory and keep your speedos fresh, you can’t go too wrong. It’s a good place to start, my friends.